“Equal opportunity means everyone will have a fair chance at being incompetent.”

“The power of hiding ourselves from one another is mercifully given, for men are wild beasts, and would devour one another but for this protection.”

“People who say you’re just as old as you feel are all wrong, fortunately.”

“Why does the Air Force need expensive new bombers? Have the people we’ve been bombing over the years been complaining?”

“If at first you don’t succeed try, try again. If you fail even after these attempts, perhaps your just stupid.”

“I go to the gym religiously. About twice a year around the holidays.”

“Any clod can have the facts, but having opinions is an art.”

“There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics.”

“The murals in restaurants are on par with the food in museums.”

“Fanaticism consists in redoubling your effort when you have forgotten your aim.”