“The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it.”

“Advertising may be described as the science of arresting the human intelligence long enough to get money from it.”

“Only the educated are free.”

“‘Whom are you?’ he asked, for he had attended business college.”

“The male is a domestic animal which, if treated with firmness, can be trained to do most things.”

“Everything is funny as long as it is happening to Somebody Else.”

“Everything is funny as long as it is happening to Somebody Else.”

“If it were done, when ’tis done, then ’twere well it were done quickly.”

“The fact that a believer is happier than a skeptic is no more to the point than the fact that a drunken man is happier than a sober one.”

“If a man will begin with certainties, he shall end in doubts; but if he will be content to begin with doubts he shall end in certainties.”