“We are here on Earth to do good to others. What the others are here for, I don’t know.”

“TV is chewing gum for the eyes.”

“There is no such thing as “fun for the whole family.””

“The pursuit of happiness is a most ridiculous phrase; if you pursue happiness you’ll never find it.”

“I don’t like to commit myself about heaven and hell-you see, I have friends in both places.”

“An intellectual is a man who takes more words than necessary to tell more than he knows.”

“We may not imagine how our lives could be more frustrating and complex–but Congress can.”

“A committee is a cul-de-sac down which ideas are lured and then quietly strangled.”

“Eternity is a mere moment, just long enough for a joke.”

“It is not a bad idea to get in the habit of writing down one’s thoughts. It saves one having to bother anyone else with them.”