“The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents.”

“I like rice. Rice is great if you’re hungry and want 2000 of something.”

“To be pleased with one’s limits is a wretched state.”

“Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.”

“Food is an important part of a balanced diet.”

“Misery no longer loves company. Nowadays it insists on it.”

“The tooth fairy teaches children that they can sell body parts for money.”

“In all recorded history there has not been one economist who has had to worry about where the next meal would come from.”

“Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs?”

“A strong conviction that something must be done is the parent of many bad measures.”