“It is the dull man who is always sure, and the sure man who is always dull.”

“Free speech carries with it some freedom to listen.”

“The best liar is he who makes the smallest amount of lying go the longest way.”

“Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.”

“The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it.”

“Advertising may be described as the science of arresting the human intelligence long enough to get money from it.”

“Only the educated are free.”

“‘Whom are you?’ he asked, for he had attended business college.”

“The male is a domestic animal which, if treated with firmness, can be trained to do most things.”

“Everything is funny as long as it is happening to Somebody Else.”