“If you put tomfoolery into a computer, nothing comes out of it but tomfoolery. But this tomfoolery, having passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow ennobled and no-one dares criticize it.”

“I’ve gone into hundreds of [fortune-teller’s parlors], and have been told thousands of things, but nobody ever told me I was a policewoman getting ready to arrest her.”

“One fails forward toward success.”

“Paradise is exactly like where you are right now… only much, much better.”

“Obstacles are things a person sees when he takes his eyes off his goal.”

“I’ve never known any trouble than an hour’s reading didn’t assuage.”

“People will buy anything that is one to a customer.”

“I just invent, then wait until man comes around to needing what I’ve invented.”

“The difference between a democracy and a dictatorship is that in a democracy you vote first and take orders later; in a dictatorship you don’t have to waste your time voting.”

“Efficiency is intelligent laziness.”