“Look for the ridiculous in everything and you will find it.”

“Rational arguments don’t usually work on religious people. Otherwise, there wouldn’t be religious people.”

“In Mexico we have a word for sushi: Bait.”

“Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build a bridge even where there is no river.”

“It is amazing what you can accomplish if you do not care who gets the credit.”

“The generation of random numbers is too important to be left to chance.”

“I am opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to offer me the position.”

“In real life, unlike in Shakespeare, the sweetness of the rose depends upon the name it bears. Things are not only what they are. They are, in very important respects, what they seem to be.”

“The only good ideas are the ones I can take credit for.”

“Music is the only language in which you cannot say a mean or sarcastic thing.”