“I’m all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let’s start with typewriters.”

“Arithmetic is being able to count up to twenty without taking off your shoes.”

“The significant problems we have cannot be solved at the same level of thinking with which we created them.”

“The significant problems we have cannot be solved at the same level of thinking with which we created them.”

“The whole dream of democracy is to raise the proletarian to the level of stupidity attained by the bourgeois.”

“It is a good rule in life never to apologize. The right sort of people do not want apologies, and the wrong sort take a mean advantage of them.”

“When a true genius appears in this world, you may know him by this sign, that the dunces are all in confederacy against him.”

“I can believe anything, provided that it is quite incredible.”

“For every action there is an equal and opposite government program.”

“I can’t understand why people are frightened of new ideas. I’m frightened of the old ones.”