“Any woman who thinks the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach is aiming about 10 inches too high.”

“You know what’s interesting about Washington? It’s the kind of place where second-guessing has become second nature.”

“Oh, I don’t blame Congress. If I had $600 billion at my disposal, I’d be irresponsible, too.”

“People everywhere confuse what they read in newspapers with news.”

“Against logic there is no armor like ignorance.”

“Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself.”

“I’m astounded by people who want to ‘know’ the universe when it’s hard enough to find your way around Chinatown.”

“Asking a working writer what he thinks about critics is like asking a lamppost how it feels about dogs.”

“It is said that power corrupts, but actually it’s more true that power attracts the corruptible. The sane are usually attracted by other things than power.”

“There is only one thing a philosopher can be relied upon to do, and that is to contradict other philosophers.”