“The truth is rarely pure and never simple.”

“If men were angels, no government would be necessary.”

“It only takes 20 years for a liberal to become a conservative without changing a single idea.”

“When one burns one’s bridges, what a very nice fire it makes.”

“A lifetime is more than sufficiently long for people to get what there is of it wrong.”

“The only thing that saves us from the bureaucracy is inefficiency. An efficient bureaucracy is the greatest threat to liberty.”

“For several years more I maintained public relations with the Almighty. But privately, I ceased to associate with him.”

“Sometime they’ll give a war and nobody will come.”

“Joel: That’s the movies, Ed. Try reality./ Ed: No thanks.”

“Gratitude is merely the secret hope of further favors.”