“I took a speed reading course and read ‘War and Peace’ in twenty minutes. It involves Russia.”

“Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.”

“Art, like morality, consists of drawing the line somewhere.”

“It is a sign of a creeping inner death when we no longer can praise the living.”

“I myself am made entirely of flaws, stitched together with good intentions.”

“The place of the father in the modern suburban family is a very small one, particularly if he plays golf.”

“Play: Work that you enjoy doing for nothing.”

“I can forgive Alfred Nobel for having invented dynamite, but only a fiend in human form could have invented the Nobel Prize.”

“A liberal is a man too broadminded to take his own side in a quarrel.”

“A little inaccuracy sometimes saves tons of explanation.”