“Every man serves a useful purpose: A miser, for example, makes a wonderful ancestor.”

“When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up.”

“I want to find a voracious, small-minded predator and name it after the IRS.”

“Reality is something you rise above.”

“The men the American public admire most extravagantly are the most daring liars; the men they detest most violently are those who try to tell them the truth.”

“One should as a rule respect public opinion in so far as is necessary to avoid starvation and to keep out of prison, but anything that goes beyond this is voluntary submission to an unnecessary tyranny, and is likely to interfere with happiness in all…

“I’m tired of all this nonsense about beauty being only skin-deep. That’s deep enough. What do you want, an adorable pancreas?”

“Our constitution protects aliens, drunks and U.S. Senators.”

“Part of being sane, is being a little bit crazy.”

“Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something.”